Keeping Promises

Why is keeping promises important? Well it's a matter of building your reputation in life. People will know you by many of your actions, and one of the easiest to have control over is keeping your word. If keeping promises is of utmost importance to you, then you will never make promises lightly. People will come to know that they can count on you when you give your word. This can be a delicate thing if you don't treat it seriously. The day you break a promise, it will be like a ripple in the pond that could build to a destructive wave. Therefore, on those rare occassions when a promise must be broken, then it should be with the most solemn and humble accumen. This is a difficult lesson to learn. A simple thing like telling someone you will be somewhere at a certain time is a powerful chance for you to be responsible. By making every effort to be there, you convey a message to that person that they are important.

In contrast, if people break their promises to you, it is important to know how to categorize who they are to you, and how important the situation is. We don't live in a black and white world, so you have to take these things on an individual basis. For example, if someone tells you that they will do something for you, and they don't come through, and they don't offer a valid reason, than their reliablility would go down. If it happened a few more times, you can probably expect that the person will be continually unreliable, and you should go forward armed with that knowledge. It is at this point that you have a decision to make: Is it worth maintaining a friendship with this person, or should I relegate (or keep the same) the relationship in some fashion? I may choose to keep the person as a friend, but stop having an expectation of reliability. This will lower my own stress. I also may choose to bring the relationship to a level of aquaintanceship, in order to lessen the chances of future disapointments. All in all, each situation must be judged for its own merit.

Importantly, keep your own word. It is a valuble asset in your life. By standing by what you say in deed and action, you will be a worthy friend and a model person. You will lead by the examples that lift people up, and you can stand strong in the knowledge that you are a person of integrity.

Dinner

The importance of Dinner.

One lesson I got growing up (especially in a moderately conservative Jewish family) was that Friday nights were sacred. This was because of the Shabbas. A day of rest. The day that G-d rested after creating the whole shebang, and a day my family would often gather for dinner on. This Shabbat dinner was preluded almost exclusively by my dear Grandmother lighting special candles to welcome the Sabbath Bride. We would then say a prayer over the wine (an excellent benefit to being Jewish) and a prayer over the "Challah" (bread). After these formal ceremonies, we would begin to eat. And more importantly to talk. Sometimes even arguments ensued, but generally it was just a lively round of discussion among loved ones, which would continue late into the evening.

Now that I am a dad myself, with you boys as my children, I want to pass at least part of this important lesson on to you. It is imperiative to eat together as a family. It doesn't have to be every night, as this may be impossible in the hectic and busy lives we tend to lead in these super fast times. However, at least one night a week should be set aside where the T.V. is off, the games are put away, and the family sits down to eat and more importantly to talk. This should be a special time. It should matter. Prayers of thanks should be said, although I too often times forget.

Your Mother and I have had many of these dinners on Sundays since you were born. We usually invite people over to add livliness to the conversatioins, and to spread the importance of sharing with other people. This is our Sabbath. Our time to rest and be thankful and dare I say grateful for the loved ones in our lives. So remember: Set time aside to be thankful. Set time aside to break bread with the ones you love. Every so often invite a stranger over, so they may feel the warmth you try to give each other, and make them part of your world for a meal.

Money

Once in a while I get an urge to write down important thoughts that I have about life so that if I get crushed in a conbine or hacked up by a serial killer, or just die on the toilet like most famous poets, that somehow my children will never wonder what my philosophy was. Now this may seem very egotistical. It is. However, it also seems important and right. So every so often I plan on writing down some thoughts about life that I think they might find interesting. I'm putting them here because It is easy for me to put things here. I find it comforting to type, but I've never really been a journal or diary kind of fella.

Todays sub topic is money. Dear boys, never let money be your G-d. Always remember that aside from being dirty, money is really just small green rectangles of paper. It is important to have enough for basic neccessity, like food, shelter, and collecting inexpensive comics or pokemon cards, but if it ever becomes more important than love, than you need to re-evaluate. Although having money does get you things, things are just that: Things. So many lose track of their basic values in the pursuit of Things that they end up missing out on the more important intangibles, like integrity and respect.

In my life I have seen people murder over cash, give up hope over cash, and risk their freedom for cash. Cash is just that. Cash. No one will ever sing the praises of heroes for the richest guy just because he is the richest guy. Don't believe what you see on MTV. After all, that is just a tiny slice of the world, and because it's on TV, it appears larger than it really is. The greatest contributors to humanity have not been the richest in cash, but the richest in spirit, kindness and ingenuity. Usually their successes are followed by money, but note that the good they do is already done, and money is just another societal reward.

Remember, having money is important, because in our society it is the path to shelter, food and basic healthcare. So save some so it never becomes too powerful in your life. And spend some so it never becomes too important in your life. And give some away so it never becomes too burdensome in your life. If by chance you do become a rich (in cash) person, always remember that you will only gain true respect by your overt actions and kind deeds in the long run. This will always serve you well. And if you are poor (in cash) the same applies. Let your great deeds carry you forward and you shall not want.