CASH

For Johnny Cash 1932-2003

I think of that voice
Rough as a long day yet as appealing as ice cream
Softly singing about the pain in all of us
Or the passion
Or both
I am saddened at his passing
Strangely mortified
Even though I am a new fan
I heard him as a child
Mono phonic from the obligatory 8-track my da' was constantly playing
I never really listened all that much until I was a Man
Then he meant more to me than I could describe
Somehow Johnny stands for the simple common one
The mistake making heart breaker
The truth
His trademark discourse blazing heat in my life
Helping get me through the dark patches
Enriching the great moments
Leveling my unbalances
I saw him on a talk show recently
Old and tired
Lungs filled with impending death
These were his last legs
His final chants
His fire was still ringing
Tho
As he spoke of never ever quitting
Then his June passed
So he did too
Taking a last trip to Jackson before falling from here
Celebrity I just can't see him that way
A man who shopped at the mall with the rest of us heathens
I wish I had a chance to drink a beer with him
Alas
It's too late
So I’ll have one for him and
I’ll give my love to Rose as well
Dear Mr. Cash

Copyright 2003 Harry R. Fagel ARR

Dingle!

Bad Harry Bad...

Too much eating in the wrong direction. Suddenly I spin my wheels in reverse, shoving all manner of problematic calories in my chomping gullet. Time to pull myself out of this tail spin...
NOW

Sam and Jacob

When I see them
The Children wrought from our love
I can't explain
How I feel
All the poetry in the universe
Fails me and I just
Just, just
Choke
A small hitch in the back of my airway
I feel it ride inside my head
All the way to my eyes
Where poised on the brink of knowledge
A single tear forms but
Never slips
Instead it just washes my eye
Never falling
Like a wishing star that never reaches the ground
It causes pinpricks of light to bead up and
The world gets surrounded by some magical glow
Maybe even a Halo
I see our Children
I hear their laughter
I cringe at their fears
I dance in their eyes
The world
Full of talking heads and looming wars
Becomes abstracted, lessor,
Background noise
Replaced by the idea that the spirit is a real thing
That life is a gift to be cherished
That the answer is in the love we give
I should bottle this somehow
Give it away for free to all people
Let them revel in this joy I have found
Let them taste the idea that there is hope for us all
Let them know what I know
We have a chance.
We do.

Copyright 2003 Harry R. Fagel ARR

READING!!!

DON'T Forget (PLEEEEEASE). BARRY DINGLE, world renowned clown and poet will be appearing at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Maryland Parkway on Sept. 30th at 7PM. He will be bringing a special guest (secret) to open the act, and demands that all attendees RELAX and prepare for 30 minutes of gut wrenching, spine tingling, aromatic, funky, chunky, monkey business by none other than
BARRY DINGLE!!!
Crying towels are optional....

Crazy Razor Lady

So the two crazy drug dealer ladies get in a razor fight at the Green Valley Grocery off of Twain. They go at it pretty hard and cut each other a bit, neither really seriously, more like "hesitation" cuts. And we come and break it up and I am patting down this older black woman with nappy, crazy hair that sticks up and out from her head like somekind of explosion in a worm factory. Her own craziness rivals her hair as she spits and snarls at me. As I pat her down, making sure she has no more razors or other weapons on her person, I pat her right rear pocket and feel something, well, mushy. She suddenly screams at me: "THASSS RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER....I DEFECATED MYSELF!!!!!!!
She stamped her leg once, twice, three times on the asphalt and sure as pudding a ball of poo rolled out from the bottom of her lime green polyester pantsuit and plopped on the parking lot. She gave me a defiant look and I let her go. No one pressed charges so everyone was released and allowed to leave. Only an empty parking lot with a few blood stains and the lone "meat-ball" remained.

Gosh Damn IT

OK so I eat a little of the "Forbidden" Items. I see immediately a paunch swelling to near maximum expansion...pushing my jeans into the fat so it leaves little crinkle marks. Speaking of crinkles...yummm potato chips sound good. OK control yourself man your Freaking OUT. All right. I'm ok here. I'm not going to lose it. I am still in control. JENNY CRAIG WHERE ARE YOU...ok ok I'm fine, really.Yes the diet is still going well. As I discussed earlier this week I've hit the first plataeu and it is making me stress a bit. Must FOCUS damn it. MUST......

Shoot Shat Shit

I ate. Far too much. Today. Not good. Now I wallow in guilt and fatness. It is bad. Yet....Good as well.
Manana I shall return to strict observance of the PLAN. Until then....bloat.

Magic Island

Where do they go
After all the explosions and police and social services
When the lab has been confiscated and Mummy n' Daddy sit in stone rooms
They still clutch teddy close
Maybe closer
They contemplate the next hour, minute second in measures of
Loneliness
As they sit and wonder
Is there a magical island somewhere?
Where all the kiddies born into bad company go?
Where ferris wheels turn endlessly and cotton candy clouds drift by?
Where mom and dad hold hands with baby forever?
Or do they go
To the land of bad dreams
Where everyone is stranger including parents
House to house and never home
Blaming themselves and the world and the cops
And the teachers
Or maybe not blaming
Maybe just crying
Tears falling into a fathoms deep hole
never filling the place where loved ones once stood?
Their folks get out of jail eventually
Sometimes sooner than later and the patterns usually repeat
Nights spent listening to plans about the big score
Or maybe just listening to madness coming from chemicals
Speaking through once human beings
Either way sleep is elusive and nightmarish
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Still loving them regardless of their illegality
Wishing for something to be different
To change to
Uplift
Yet the explosions and police and social services and therapy come in the end
The children
Where do they go?

Copyright 2003 Harry R. Fagel ARR

Diet still

Yeah it's still going on. I cheat on it but mostly I'm strict as all get out. This is 5 weeks in. I've lost 21 pounds. I'm up to 400 crunches a day, a minimum of 25 minutes of cardio, and a full weight lifting regime. Wow. Now I need to go into high gear. This is a crucial time in the plan. This is where plateaus are hit, sticking points, disapointment. I really need to focus right now, or it will be a lickety-split ride to fat body again. I have 33 pounds to go to reach the goal line. By then I will be really fit. If I hang tough. That is all for now.

Weighty review

Ok. This weeks weight. 253. Thats 19 pounds so far. Still large marge but getting a bit faster. Will stay updated.
Harry