Aging Again

Do you think I'm sexy?
Do you want my body?
Come on baby let me know...
I'm finding out without a doubt that the one thing that continues unabated
In my life is that
Without pause
for remorse
I just keep getting
Older
They (whoever they are) Say
The older you get the better you get
Sheeeeeeit
The older you get the fatter you get
Im suddenly encountering every bad embarrassing malady I used to pick on
One after another after another
Hemorrhoids swell and surge on my once pristine bung and I thought only
Chicks got Cellulite on their ass
Not to mention varicose veins and
yes the big one the alcoholic meat eater swollen joint incredibly painful
Gout
Got it!!!
And arthritis and moles and weird undulating sensations that are probably signs of
Thrombosis and
I've got Halitosis even though I floss It's just another sign I'm
getting older
and better
Sheeeeeeeeeeeit
The older you get the smarter you get
Except
Where did I put those car keys and
I'm sorry I forgot the appointment and
I could?ve sworn I wrote that check and
It's your birthday? Wow? Really?
Oops, sorry honey
Oh and those ensure commercials
Balanced nutrition for old farts I laugh but I catch myself
Pricing cans at the
Bulk supermarket
(when your old you buy in bulk you never know when you won't be able to shop)
My legs pop like champagne corks as I walk, announcing to the world
We're tired Dad! Give us a break! So I sit
and the piles say
Owwwwwwwwww were tired dad give us a break so
I lay down and
that is allright
Until it's time to get up the back creaks cracks and groans like some
Ghostly Ebeneezer Scrooge Bah humbugging the possibilities of walking
But I get up and go to the Gym
I'm fit real fit so fit but whats that smell
Ben gay Ben gay Ben gay
I can see my blue veins in my arm
Oh lord and everyone around looks like some MTV
Pretty
All dolled up ricky martin jennifer lopez style with
Hard bodies and minds
Sexin' each other for candy
And I'm relegated to finding new role models
It's obvious that Bob Dole should become my new
Idol
Viagra singin' in his soul making his weenie proud
So loud and proud and...
Hey everybody Gramps has a stiffy!
I awake sweat pooling on my chest
Bad dream nightmare not 80 yet
So I pull myself out of bed by my ear hair
And admire my baldness
I may be old.
But I'm defiantly
HOT
Don't you love my body
Don't you think I'm sexy
Come on baby
You know you do

Copyright 2003 Harry R. Fagel ARR